52tease.com New Political T-shirt Designs

George W. Bush Freedumb Fighter

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 16:29:00 +0000

We bet you're wondering what 52tease.com would be without George W. Bush to make fun of, aren't you? Although we try to be fair and balanced in our distaste for (and t-shirt designs that make fun of) any "ends justify the means power-mongers," Dubya has just proven to be an amazing(ly ugly) confluence of pure evil and absolute stupidity.

How else can you explain an administration that continues to argue military solutions to political situations regardless of the facts or players involved (unless we're dealing with North Korea, of course)? In fact, this administration seems to make it a point to dispute every single fact that does not fully support their world view. We have it on good faith that the Bushies don't even believe that facts exist, if you can't use your faith to support your statements then don't even bother.

"Friends of his from Texas were shocked recently to find him nearly wild-eyed, thumping himself on the chest three times while he repeated 'I am the president!' He also made it clear he was setting Iraq up so his successor could not get out of 'our country’s destiny.'"

This isn't the only time in the past few weeks that Bush has acted out in this way: "some big money players up from Texas recently paid a visit to their friend in the White House. The story goes that they got out exactly one question, and the rest of the meeting consisted of The President in an extended whine, a rant, actually, about no one understands him, the critics are all messed up, if only people would see what he’s doing things would be OK…etc., etc. This is called a 'bunker mentality' and it's not attractive when a friend does it. When the friend is the President of the United States, it can be downright dangerous. Apparently the Texas friends were suitably appalled, hence the story now in circulation."

One would think that the administration would have at least tried to "smarten things up" a little after the American voters overwhelmingly voted against their foreign and domestic policy decisions. Of course, that would assume that they're smart enough to even figure out that they need some more intelligent people steering the ship. Instead, they have continued to blunder their way through international disgraces and cross-border insults.

At 52tease.com, we believe in the power of idiocy to reign supreme (doesn't it say that meek shall inherit the Earth in the bible?) and, as such, have chosen an excellent Bush quote to point out his ability to retain power and control even after so many stupid missteps.

We truly believe, as does our noble president, that "over time and across the Earth, FREEDUMB will find a way."

As the leader of free world, George W. Bush sees himself as a crusader for the oppressed and under-served everywhere...the ultimate freedom fighter. Of course we respect his might; we just wonder if one of the most powerful people in the world has enough neurons firing (after his prior alcohol abuse issues) to even notice the intentional spelling error on our newest anti-Bush FREEDUMB fighter t-shirts.

In case you haven't figured out the theme of this weeks' shirts yet, we will make it abundantly clear to you:

George "Dubya" Bush is an idiot!

Thanks to a new exhibit that the National Archives, School House to White House: The Education of the Presidents, we've even got corroborating evidence: "George H.W. Bush's high school transcript shows marks in the 60s and 70s for many classes." Of course Bush isn't alone, but you have to admit that he's the easiest to make fun of.

Political t-shirts, Freedumb Bush , Anti-Bush, Freedumb Fighter

Mood: Pleased | Playing: WFMU

What do You do With Emptiness?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 14 May 2007 18:40:00 +0000

This week, as you can tell by glancing over the pictures in this blog entry, we're offering you several options riffing off the idea of emptiness. The first explores the religions aspect of emptiness, the second looks at the graphic nature and primal responses and the third deals with President Bush's head (although, to be fair, the third design is not on sale this week as we created it to satisfy a custom-request).

To be completely honest, even the first design, fill the emptiness, was a custom request, but one we wanted to share with the world at large at a discounted price. If you're having trouble seeing the first image, it includes a fire-tinged stained-glass window of a repentant or prayerful person with another's hands on his shoulders. The entire image, as well as the text, Fill the emptiness, has a "ripped" or distressed quality to it.

This is another one of those shirt designs wherein the wearer and the viewer may have a completely different interpretation of the meaning. Is this t-shirt arguing that religion is necessary to fill the void or only that it is a useless opiate for the masses...one that ultimately destroys our identity and sense of self?

Don't ask us...we just envision, design and make these things.

After working on the fill the emptiness design for a client, our design crew started toying around with some of the elements/concepts and came up with the more abstract and highly colorful design you see to your right.

What if, instead of trying to fill the emptiness, one instead wanted to experience it...to FEEL the emptiness? Although it is difficult to see the detail applied to the shirts, you can rest assured that any products you purchase with this design will include the fine detail and vivid colors you see to the right. Of course, the only part of the image that is in grayscale (or greyscale as they write it in "Jolly Old England") is the text, creating a visual 'emptiness' for the viewer.

Boy, all this talk about emptiness has got us thinking about what's between the ears of the current President of the United States of America, one George W. Bush (yes, our favorite political target--come on, you'd have to be blind, bound up, missing most of your limbs and slowly drowning in quicksand to miss a shot at that administration).

Although we won't argue that he has absolutely nothing between his ears, a lot of parents have already proudly declared that their children are "already smarter than Bush."

We have sold countless already smarter than Bush onesies, toddler t-shirts and youth t-shirts. That was why we realized that this would be the perfect design to debut our newest product, maternity t-shirts!

What better way to point out the idiocy of the current president and your disdain for the way things are going in America than to slap this slogan across your big, pregnant belly? Seriously, pick up an already smarter than Bush maternity shirt for your fetus and you'll be the envy of expecting mothers everywhere.

We are currently able to print maternity shirts in the normal fashion and on the bellies, as you can see on these two products. Although we aren't the type of t-shirt shop that would focus solely on this segment of our clientèle, we are always happy to offer more clothing choices for more body types.

Stick with us as we promise even more new products, excellent designs, and Bush bashing in the future.

Political t-shirts,Graphic designs, Already smarter than Bush, Fill the emptiness, Feel the emptiness

Mood: Devoid of emotion (not really) | Playing: Bishop Allen--Rain

Imbush Peach t-shirts, buttons, stickers

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 14:36:00 +0000

True to form, we're either behind or ahead of the times at the 52tease.com Outpost (we can't quite figure out which it is). Two days ago, the Vermont state senate voted 16-9 to impeach President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney. There is little chance of the Vermont House of Representatives to take up the vote, possibly setting impeachment proceedings in motion thanks to rules written by former President Thomas Jefferson to govern the U.S. House. That doesn't take away from this amazing symbolic move on the part of a state legislature.

Equally symbolic (and ineffective) is Representative Dennis Kucinich's letter this past week that announces his intention to introduce Articles of Impeachment with respect to the conduct of Vice President Cheney. (As USA Today points out, sadly, Kucinich doesn't even register on the latest Gallup poll regarding Democratic Presidential hopefuls).

Although Kucinich is only grandstanding, this is one more indication of a nation looking to wake from a long, ugly political slumber.

Don't believe us? Just look at all the websites that exist with the word "impeach" in their urls:
http://www.impeachpac.org - Electing a Congress to Impeach Bush and Cheney
http://www.impeachbush.org
http://www.impeachbush.tv - Editorials and Information on How to Impeach Bush & Cheney
http://impeachforpeace.org - Nonpartisan efforts to Impeach Bush & Cheney
http://www.impeach07.org
http://www.impeach-andrewjohnson.com/- Okay, maybe that one doesn't have to do with the current administration
http://www.impeachthemotherfuckeralready.com - Now you know what ITMA means
http://impeachbushcoalition.blogspot.com - A United Coalition of Bloggers for the Impeachment of George W. Bush
http://www.thefourreasons.org/ - Although that one doesn't have "impeach" in the url, it is pretty scathing

People are waking up the atrocities of the current administration (which they have actively pursued since before September 11th, mind you) and calling for action.

Of course, while all this is going on, we've recently been tuned into the atrocities perpetuated by Peach, who is worth of imbushment (that's right, we're hoping on the nascent Imbush Peach movement). Although we haven't yet read through all the literature, we're pretty sure they aren't talking about Princess Peach. Other than being repeatedly kidnapped by Bowser and apparently in love with a plumber, she hasn't real done anything truly imbushable, right?

Why are we jumping on the Imbush Peach bandwagon? Trying to impeach the President is so passé. We know that imbushing is going to be the new thing and want a piece of the action. Peach is unconscionable and must be stopped at all costs.

That...and we just think it's really funny.

Political t-shirts, Imbush Peach, Impeach Bush

Mood: Staunchly political | Playing: Weezer-Maladroit

Let the Love Continue

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 19:47:00 +0000

Wow, we could not have picked a better time to try to spread some love and goodness into the world. There are college students dying as we speak, a national uproar over racial relations thanks to the on air antics of Don Imus, Indians (not to be confused with Native Americans) burning effigies of Richard Gere, Muqtada al-Sadr has quit the Iraqi government, a magnet school in NYC is causing controversy just because it focuses on Arabic issues and even the sea lions are turning against us.

Things are certainly falling to pieces fast and we at 52tease.com think that's because we've learned to embrace hate at the expense of love. You know this isn't new ground for us. We've been talking about celebrating love for a while...but the current trend of racial and cultural acrimony has to stop.

We hope that our Let the Love Continue icon, of interlocking hands colored the spectrum of a rainbow, will help serve as a reminder of those bastions of nineteen sixties hippie culture: peace, love and understanding.

As you can see by the design on the right, we've gotten back to some good old-fashioned male-chauvinistic roots with our other accompanying text, "Let the brotherly love continue." Although we considered a "Let the simblingly love continue" design, we just couldn't figure out how people could vocalize such a tongue-twisty word.

These logos speak not just to racial and cultural harmony, but to the concepts of love and peace. We're especially fond of this design because it reminds us of our youth when we joined hands with our fellow man (and woman) for Hands Across America.

We're not going to recommend another nation-wide event like that, as the world is a different place. We're now living in the era of the long tail where the Internet and widespread communication devices allow small niche groups of people to find each other across the globe and form larger, established groups. As a culture we have moved from a micro, to macro and back to micro scale.

One example of this type of interaction is the new badge you may have noticed in our side bar over the last few weeks. This Kiva badge allows you to join with others in helping the smallest of business people get a very small loan to, hopefully, drag themselves out of poverty.

From the Kiva website:

Kiva is a Swahili word meaning “agreement” or “unity”. Kiva.org is a 501c3 non-profit public benefit corporation registered in the state of California. Your donations to Kiva.org are tax-deductible.

Kiva.org currently has financial support from a number of angel investors, including Silicon Valley donors, and corporate sponsors including Microsoft Research. However, self-sustainability is critical to Kiva.org and we intend to be fully self-sustainable by 2008. This will be achieved through the implementation of a number of income streams which may include optional transaction charges to lenders and low debt capital fees to Field Partners. Currently, 100% of your loan goes to the entrepreneur.

Kiva.org is not a religious organization, although we are open to partnering with religious organizations.

Consider finding a suitable entrepreneur on Kiva.org today and help let the love continue.

Political t-shirts, Graphic designs, Love, Brotherly Love

Mood: Patient and understanding | Playing: Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

Do This NOT That T-shirt Designs

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:42:00 +0000

Of course we should have gotten this t-shirt design out the door about two months ago in honor of the tenth annual Read Across America day, but that would have involved the sort of prescience and foresight we have consistently demonstrated a lack of. Instead we like to think that we are on the ball by being exactly one year ahead of next year's celebration.

While we know that one or two other retailers may have a shirt strikingly similar to the above design (and we pride ourselves on the fact that all of our designs are completely original) we had to put it out there just so we could get to the heart of the matter.

Sure it's funny to wear a supercilious tee shirt that says "read books not t-shirts," but we're amazed that no one has yet tread the ground of the happily illiterate.

Our response, of course, is the scrawled out version you see on the right with the text "read tshirts not books" that includes a picture of some good old-fashioned school books crossed out.

Why waste your time with books when almost every great quote and gem of modern thinking can be found in the short-format and easily digestible t-shirt? It's just tons more fun to say "everything I needed to learn, I learned from (hopefully 52tease.com) t-shirts."

While we were putting those designs together we felt a sort of momentum building. We like the simple concept of a "do this NOT that" design and kept on working it through until we came up with the below design.

We were going to print a "make witticisms not war" t-shirt, but that just doesn't have the same beauty of brevity of the "make love not war" design we intended to mock. We like the version our designers composed, though as make slogans not war! not only makes fun of the fact that most anti-war slogans are nothing more than a cheap marketing ploy attempting to capitalize on anti-war sentiment (gulp...guilty as charged) but also ridicules governments who use slogans and empty rhetoric to fuel warmongering sentiment among their populace.

As always, we're just doing what we can to help you prove you're a true hipster with our snarky t-shirt designs.

Political t-shirts, Family fun, Anti-war, Pro-reading, Anti-reading

Mood: Chillin' (literally, it's cold!) | Playing: Jack FM

New Animals Discovered in the Bible!

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 22:23:00 +0000

In what has become our standard operating procedure we are brazenly ignoring social norms altogether and are not even going to mention the Super Bowl, although today --the day we write this-- is the big day.

Of course, if you went to your local church to see the big game on a big screen in a friendly, alcohol-free atmosphere, than you may not want to find out that your church may have broken the law according the NFL's lawyers. Of course, if you are the type of person who did go to your church to watch the Super Bowl, we expect that you're going to be both very impressed or wildly angry with this week's little journal entry we've stuffed into the tubes.

You see, we at 52tease.com try to give voice to the typically disenfranchised in our world. We were trash-talking Dick Cheney way before it became cool. You never heard about the plight of the gruntled worker until we designed and flew their banner. We even supported blonds with the original Blonde is the new Smarte campaign.

That is why we'd like to invite our Christian friends and fellows (and whatever the female equivalent of a fellow is) to kneel down with us as we pray for god to strike down the bigoted evangelical false Christians who try to shove their bibles in our bedrooms, schools and courts without truly taking the time to comprehend one verse of the holy bible!

Just kidding. Of course we wouldn't want god to smite those misguided fools who profess to speak his word. We, at least, understand what it means to "turn the other cheek" and to "love thy neighbor." Spread the message to read the bible. Don't beat the bible!

While we had our scientificologists read (or reread) the bible this week in preparation for our current design, they discovered a very interesting reference to God's discarded creatures. Apparently, god had trouble sleeping after the fourth day and woke up to have a glass of warm milk and some cold turkey. (God may have had trouble sleeping because of his newly created moon...Think about it. (S)He was used to sleeping in pretty much total darkness up to that point.) While god was waiting to for the tryptophan to kick in, or so the bible says, he decided to have a little fun with all the parts for creatures he intended to put together the next day.

After finding reference to these discarded creatures, you can bet that our scientificological team went to work trying to uncover any physical proof of these creatures' existence that exists. Trust that crew to come through! They discovered some of the most amazing animal pictures you've ever seen.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Religious, Don't beat the bible, Read the bible

Mood: Full of the soul | Playing: James Carr

Dubya for Prez 2008...What Constitution?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 03:53:00 +0000

With so many Democrats throwing their hats in the ring recently, including the media circus that is the "Minority Battle to End All Battles," the impending clash between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, we thought it would be prudent to announce the contender in our corner.

Don't get us wrong. We'd love to see a truly compassionate politician take the helm after these long, long years of supposed "compassionate conservatism." Certainly, it would be very interesting to bring in a relative outsider to the processes of politics within the beltway...Obama, the first African American president of the Harvard Law Review, with nine years of political experience, certainly does offer a compelling option. But there is no way we could support the two-family dynasty that is threatening to maintain a choke-hold on the presidency for a total of well over twenty years unless...

If we're going to perpetuate this abomination of political "star culture" then there is no better candidate than George W. Bush for an unconstitutional third term. Yes, we know it sounds absurd, but there are a couple of reasons we are happy to unveil our W. 2008 election designs.

First: We felt a burning need (yes, we got your e-mails) to create something the red-state liberals can display proudly without fear of getting spat on, beat-up, or rear-ended. Surely these designs will fool most of the simple-minded who continue to support this power-hungry president. Hopefully it will take them some time to figure out that you're really making fun of George W. Bush and his self-serving policies.

Second: Why should we let just any old guy dump this massive mess he's created on some other hapless (yet probably equally hungry) fool? That's just like inviting your friend over for a party, having him ruin it by throwing up all over your house and guests, bringing him to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, bringing him back home, and then having to return to your own home to clean up your friend's puke. Bush should clean up his party foul, don't you think?

Third: He's going to figure out a way to steal the election anyway. Dubya has done an excellent job of decrying, circumventing and destroying the Constitution of the United States of America over the past six years of his despotism. As the shirt says, "The first 10 amendments haven't stopped him, why should the 22nd?"

We wouldn't pick on the little Georgy-boy if he and his handlers didn't make his personality such an important part of his administration's legacy. It's just such a shame that they decided to do this with a complete idiot. Speaking of which, have you heard the latest anti-Bush joke?

An idiot in the White House is worth two...when he's a Bush!

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, What Constitution?, W. 2008, Anti-Bush, Bush is an idiot

Mood: Making fun of fools | Playing: The Colbert Report

Let the Viewer Decide

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 08 Jan 2007 18:18:00 +0000

Because we understand that you get all your important global news from your friendly neighborhood (if you can have a 'hood in the virtual world) t-shirt shop, we felt it incumbent to inform you that the United States government is doing just about everything they can to make Americans look ridiculous to the rest of the intelligent world.

On one hand, we have no problems telling other, sovereign nations that they can't create nuclear programs for either energy or military purposes. On the other, we can't decide which of two competing nuclear technologies we should adopt...so we're just going to adopt them both.

In what is expected to be a $100 billion process, the Bush administration is recommending that we scrap our cold-war era nuclear arms and, instead, craft new, longer-lasting, better-built nuclear warheads (although, according the the NYTimes, the initial rationale for the changeover, the degradation of the plutonium cores has been proven an "old wives' tale").

Unlike the Bush administration, which strives to maintain at least the appearance of an unambiguous message, we appreciate the gray zone engendered by sarcasm. Our newest design, "More Better Nukes, let god sort 'em out," could easily appear, at first glance, to portray nuclear proliferation in a positive light, but what you see is certainly in the eye of the beholder (or beholden...whatever the case may be). Isn't it great? You can feel comfortable wearing this design at both pro and anti-nuclear proliferation rallies.

The intelligent eye will pick out the semi-redundancy and obvious sarcastic tone to this anti-nuclear design. If they aren't clued-in by the obvious exaggeration of "More! Better!", the postscript should make it clear that you aren't in favor of more nukes. Nuclear weapons, not by chance, kill indiscriminately.

It seems that the United States military complex is plenty happy with this style of killing without consciousness. According to a November of 2006 article in the Boston Globe, the United States far surpasses other nations when it comes to weapons sales to developing nations. Although we used to pick and choose to whom we would sell weapons, based on politics, this article points out that the financial motivation may trump all previous political considerations.

All we want to know is...with all those weapons sales, why does our military spending continue to balloon out of control? Who is benefiting from these transactions and where is 52tease.com's tax break?

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Nuclear weapons, Nukes, Anti-proliferation

Mood: Fine, fine | Playing: China Town

Love Thy Earth Love Thyself

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 02 Jan 2007 13:52:00 +0000

National-emergency-causing snow storms in Denver, spring plants blooming over the new year, and massive ice-shelf disruptions in Canada all point in one direction. This is more than just some unusual weather, it is an all out global assault on most living creatures, especially humans, on the surface (and in the oceans).

Although the "W" in George Bush's name doesn't stand for "What global warming," it certainly should. Not until Al Gore's dramatic power point film did W and Dick realize that something big was happening on their watch and they couldn't turn a blind eye to it any longer. What will it take for you to realize that you are responsible for bringing about a change as well?

Don't believe me that the world's weather is topsy-turvy and that we are experiencing the beginning of an environmental shift? Just check out Google News for the term unusual weather (look, we did it for you...just click the link). Okay, to be fair, we can't truly claim that this is a genuine "environmental shift." If we didn't usurp some of the world's best brainpower to help us make shirts, our scientificologists could probably have this whole "global warming" thing figured out in no time.

Too bad we've got them "chained" (yes, that has to be in parenthesis...last time we made a comment about the "slave-like conditions and contracts with which we keep our scientificologists loyal to us, the US State Department came by for a "friendly chat" within two days) to our t-shirt making machines, producing quality work like our newest Pro Nature designs, instead of working on all the world's ills.

While current science doesn't have all the answers, there are a lot of indicators about what you can do right now to help the earth. First, recycle every piece of paper and plastic you can get your hands on. Second, turn off any lights and electrical devices you can live without (that also means turning off your computer, and all its peripherals before going to sleep...too lazy to turn off everything? Might we suggest the Smart Strip power strip; it controls the power to all your peripherals based on one master switch attached to your computer. When you turn off your computer, your printer, scanner and speakers turn off as well...without you even having to bend over to flip the power switch!).

Third, and most important, help spread the pro nature spirit with 52tease.com's newest, naturific design. You don't have to embrace the dirty-crunchy-hippy lifestyle to foster a habitable Earth for your children and grand children. It just helps.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Graphic designs, Pro Nature, Environmental

Mood: Uh, preachy much? | Playing: Sean Hayes

Herstory, the Untold History of the World

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 01:57:00 +0000

Sure, it's easy to classify our newest design as something just for feminists (or womenists), but that would be taking a pretty myopic view of what affects you and on what you'd like to have an effect.

We know that we didn't coin the term 'herstory' (according the Oxford English Dictionary, Robin Morgan coined the term in her 1970 book, Sisterhood is Powerful), but we're almost positive that we are the first to make the statement, "You can't know history until you learn herstory." Seriously, our scientificologists have put the big computer (not the little one, or the medium-sized one, or the one with the Snorks clued to the monitor) to work over the past two weeks trying to find reference to that statement and they've come up empty (do I hear a challenge? Sure enough. Find someone else who has put this exact statement down on 'paper' before us before we debut our next t-shirt design and we'll send you a free 52tease t-shirt of your choice!).

Some of you may be wondering about the difference between history and herstory. Well, think back on any of the history lessons you had throughout grade school. What is a common theme? Do you remember a lot of conquest, war and destruction? How many different men can you remember; how many females can you remember? Herstory is an attempt to reclaim the historical canon from male-centric academics to open up the history books to the accomplishments of women and those that weren't necessarily created in response to war.

Surely, since the term was coined in the Seventies, there has been a massive change in the way we see history and how it is taught in our school, but we still have a long way to come. Wear these t-shirts (like most of our other political t-shirts), to make people rethink the way they look at the world (and start a, more than likely, long and difficult conversation).

Speaking of long (but not difficult conversations), we need your help. A recently viewed tirade of George Carlin's sparked an idea, but we need your help. To be fair, the scientificologists have already figured this one out, but they've recently raised their rates and disparaged our customer base. (they think they're so smart, don't they?) We want to prove to them that our readership is even smarter than they think.

So here's the deal. We'd like to put together a list of the Ten *American* Commandments. If the USA altered the bible's ten commandments to suit our current lifestyles, what would it look like? If you can't remember the "big ten" then you might want to check out what Wikipedia has to say about it.

We'll even get the ball rolling:
Remember the Sabbath day, and keep it holy...unless there's a big sale, football game, or you're Jewish or Muslim.

Put on those thinking caps, click the comments link below, and show our scientificologists just how smart you can be...

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Herstory, Feminism

Mood: Revolting (hehe) | Playing: Mean Girls

He Pitches for a Different Team...

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 00:50:00 +0000

Can somebody please explain to us where that term came from? We don't quite get it (in fact, we aren't totally sure that's the real saying; we've been so busy selling our Election 2006 Reboot t-shirts after the massive voting machine meltdowns -what, you haven't read about Florida's 13th district?- and the unexpected GOP sweep of both the House and the Senate -what, you haven't heard about...wait a second, the Dems actually took control of Congress. Rock on! - that we couldn't put our esteemed scientificologists to work finding out where that saying originates). Seriously, we'd love to hear your explanation about where the term, "He pitches for the other team" (or whatever the actual saying is), comes from. Thanks.

You may have heard, recently, when famous people get divorced (like Britney and K-fed are planning) people are proud to show who they side with in the breakup (of these people who they don't know personally, mind you) in shirt form. Man, we always say we're for freedom of t-shirt expression.

We completely understand why people want to broadcast their team affiliation. It makes it that much easier to make friends (or enemies), right? We've even found a Team Fan Club T-shirt shop with just about any men's or women's name you could think of (well, at least a whole bunch of generic and popular names).

We are often very surprised, though, by what we don't find in the marketplace. Why hasn't anyone made the now classic Team Gay product? And, if they do exist, why aren't you advertising it better?

Well, I guess that's why 52tease.com is here. We exist to give voice to the little guy, to represent the unloved, mistreated and rejected.

Who are we kidding? We represent our own views and the views of the much understudied and misunderstood subculture of scientificologists who exist in the world. We are supported by those who happen to agree with us one time or another.

If we've helped give voice to your needs, you're welcome. If we haven't, come back next week and see if we don't hit a little closer to the target.

(Geeze, painted into a corner. I was supposed to say something about that being our new long-sleeve dark shirt for women up there, but I didn't sneak it in somehow. Maybe he won't notice that this is just a parenthetical insertion and not related to the above text at all.)

Seriously, where did that saying come from?~52tease.com

Let the Machines Decide-Election 2006 Reboot

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 07 Nov 2006 00:40:00 +0000

Yes, the rumors are true: 52tease.com is celebrating our two year anniversary!

It's hard to believe that not only have we been putting out a new t-shirt design on sale consistently for the past two years (that's 104 brand-spanking-new t-shirt designs, plus all the extra custom designs and other fun stuff we've put out there), but we've managed to stay on message throughout our long strange trip.

On the right you can see our very first t-shirt, designed November 1st 2004 in honor of the then upcoming national elections. If you've been with us from the beginning and are one of the many voters from Ohio and Florida who picked up one of these shirts, we just want you to know how thankful we are that there are people like you in this country. Your prescience, poise and strength is commendable.

Sad to say, our I voted 2004...at least I think I voted t-shirts could have been more true than even we guessed. With the recent release of HBO and Black Box Voting's Hacking Democracy, everyone is now able to see, close up and in full color, just how easy it is to trick the system. (if you've not yet seen this documentary, head on over to Google Video and watch it now -72 minutes- or download it for later. This is amazing, and disgusting stuff!)

Which just makes us even more scared about what could happen this election. Digg.com has been full of links to websites that purport to offer myriad ways to hack the vote. The mainstream news has picked it up and, even as we write this at 7:55pm Monday night, the day before elections, there have been reports of machine malfunctions in Texas and at least eight other states.

Although we aren't normally 'glass is half empty' kind of people (in fact, on our application, we actually have that question--or something like it, and we refuse to hire pessimists off the bat), when it comes to elections and the corruption of the political machine we definitely are ready to scream "the sky is falling!"

That's why, this year, we are more than proud to unveil what we affectionately like to call around the office our Election 2006 Reboot products. Anyone familiar with a Windows-based machine knows the infamous three finger salute, Control+Alt+Delete, required whenever everything goes funky on your machine. Well, we're pretty sure the voting machines are going to do a little of their own funky computing this election and are happy we have the t-shirts to got with the madness.

Thank you HBO, for standing up for quality content. Hacking Democracy, although powerful, isn't enough. To be honest, we wish that we had the knowhow (and a good enough lawyer) to skew the election results ourselves so far away from the expected (can you imagine Cyndi Lauper winning a seat in Pennsylvania?) that those who naysay can see just how vulnerable our voting system is...maybe in 2008...

Anyway, thank you for standing by 52tease.com against tyranny, corruption and unfunny t-shirts these past two years. Your interaction on this blog, via e-mail and in person has been the driving force behind all our efforts. We look forward to continuing to deliver you quality original t-shirts and products well into the future.

As a thank you for your support, we are happy to include our entire best sellers selection as well as our Election 2006 Reboot design on sale this week.

If you haven't been by our store in a while, come check out the new design (version 4.0), new products including long-sleeve shirts for women, long-sleeve black t-shirts for men and women, and navy, green, and crimson short-sleeved t-shirts.

Finally, please don't forget to comment--we'd love to hear your favorites from the last two years...darren@52tease.com

Can 97% of Politicians be Wrong? YES!

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 30 Oct 2006 00:26:00 +0000

You've been reading the polls left and right. Democrats are up!!

No! No! Republicans are up!

Independents are in ascendence!

To be honest, we've made a conscious effort to avoid the polls this political season. We find that the polls and the pollsters end up doing more decision-making for the American people than the American people themselves.

Now that we've established our stance on polling in the American political scene...you won't believe our most recent political poll. Our brightest minds have been routing through politicians' trash, sewage and whatever else they could get their hands on in an effort to discover just how corrupt politicians are. We sifted through the garbage of Democrats, Republicans, independents, write-in candidates and anyone else who has even looked at public office with a twinkle in their eye.

Using this frighteningly accurate scientific method, our scientificologists were able to ascertain that exactly 97% of ALL politicians are corrupt.

Don't despair, gentle friend, that means that a full 3% of politicians are worth their weight in gold. They truly care about the common good, rights of man and that their sole purpose is to accurately represent the needs of their constituents in the federal arena.

And what, praytell, is the best way to deal with this overflowing cesspool of corrupt government? That's right...I can hear you whispering it to your friend next to you. Say it a little louder so everyone can hear. They all know what we have to do. Vocalize it for the rest of us.

Vote the incumbents out!

We're done with being represented by power-hungry, corrupt politicians. We need to wipe the slate clean (except for that ever-lovable 3%) and let 'em know that we want to be represented fairly and accurately.

Too bad that 97% of politicians have to give the other 3% a bad name!

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Corrupt Politicians, Vote out the incumbents

Perfection, Pickups and Political Perverts

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:22:00 +0000

Utter perfection.

What is more perfect than your favorite shirt? I'm pretty sure we've said this before, but you never really know what science is capable of unless you allow it to unfurl to its greatest potential.

Our scientificologists have discovered the most perfect piece of apparel currently in existence on earth: it's everyone's favorite shirt!

Truly, it's easy to tell because the text across the front says, "my favorite shirt". We certainly don't pay those gals (and guys) enough for the amazing work they churn out. Three cheers for the scientificologists!!! (maybe the flattery will be enough)

How snarky!

Okay, so the simple witty t-shirt isn't enough to excite you. I can understand that (although, you have to admit...there is no better shirt than everyone's favorite shirt). You need something that's going to do a better job of getting you noticed at the bar.

You want a shirt that is going to say, "you might not take me home tonight, and you may not take me home next time...but you are going to take me home because I am just too cute to pass up".

You know how we're going to convey that very complex, primal message? With a t-shirt (or tank top, or spaghetti top) that says: I'm wearing this shirt so you'll remember me.

Scandal in politics? You don't say...

Well, what can we say about the whole Mark Foley fiasco that hasn't already been said? We here at 52tease.com always knew the GOP was full of perverts and pedophiles.

Think about it, why else would they spend so much time trying to get into my bedroom? Perverts!

Anyway, we've made a couple of political poster-style t-shirts to commemorate this 'outing' of the Republican party.

Enjoy our GOP=Gang of Pedophiles and GOP=Greedy Old Pervert t-shirts. (ouch! That's got to hurt.)

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

College humor, Political t-shirts, Family fun

Mood: Wandering | Playing: Velvet Underground (yeah, who would have guessed?)

Why Does Your Television Lie?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:08:00 +0000

Your television lies to you every day. Sure, you could think that I'm talking about Fox news or CNN (whatever side of the 'great divide' you find yourself on, you probably don't believe one network or the other--since their versions of the 'news' rarely seem to jive with each other), but I'm not.

Your television is in a constant battle with your ego. It wants you to believe that you aren't strong enough, smart enough, beautiful enough, thin enough, quick enough, happy enough. When you watch TV, you learn that you don't own the most 'essential' of items to be a good citizen. Your TV wants you to hate yourself.

Why, you ask, would your TV want you to hate yourself? Because once you feel inadequate, worthless and good for nothing, you are a prime target for (you guessed it) ADVERTISING. Oh yeah, the backbone of our modern method of communication and education is nothing other than your own sense of insufficiency. You, my friend, with all your second-guessing and 'star-envy' are the fuel for the modern Vaudeville gristmill.

What can we do to stop this rampant naysayer? What can we do to reclaim our self-worth in the face of this mockery?

Think. Read a book. Play a board game. Go for a walk. Make something (dinner, a craft, a hamster-powered lawn mower, whatever). Unlike the kids at TVturnoff.org, we don't think it is necessary to absent yourself from your TV for a week, but why not try a day? Why not even try those two hours of 'must see TV' you submit yourself to one night?

Looking for other ideas while your TV is off? Check out this PDF from those same wacky tvturnoff kids.

Whatever you do, please remember that you are smarter, prettier, and better than your TV gives you credit for. You have more stuff and need less that your television would lead you to believe. In short, there is no way your television is smarter than you. Try to approach all of its promises with a critical eye.

Don't forget. You can't be a true radical anti-television crusader unless you are wearing a bonafide, one-of-a-kind, Don't Believe Its Lies anti-television t-shirt from 52tease.com!

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Graphic designs, Anti-TV , Television Lies

From whence come Revolutions?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 10 Jul 2006 18:27:00 +0000

Are you sitting around your house, watching the news on three different news channels just to see how each will 'spin' a news event, waiting for The Revolution?

Guess what...more than likely, the leader of The next Revolution is probably doing the exact same thing (and may even be you).

We admit that our view of history is rather dim, but we can't recall a single Revolution that was started by a television 'clicker'. (In fact, we've had the scientificologists do some research on the matter and they've told me that Wikipedia doesn't have any references to a Revolution instigated by a remote control). This graphic t-shirt design challenges people to question where Revolutions begin.

The spiraled text, coming from the profile's mouth, reads "revolutions" over and over, eventually meeting the bold "start here" over the profile.

Even if you aren't into the political nature of the text, you have to admit that the design just looks cool. Our graphic designers spent over 384 collective hours (we don't have a clock for them to 'punch in' so they just keep track of their own hours, even what they do at home, and send us an e-mail with the total hours at the end of every week. We're positive we get much more productive work if we trust our underlings.) refining and perfecting this design. Because of our commitment to quality, each addition to this Revolution design had to pass a strict bracer of quality control. Not fewer than forty-seven eyes had to vet each stroke before it was added to the shirt.

Sure, there was talk of a supposed "revolution" among the ranks of our own 52tease.com 'slaves' (as we, the "Big Guns" like to call our subordinates) when we forced such stringent quality control on a single design. But we squashed that little rebellion with a little thing we like to call "freedom". We told them we'd fire them if they so much as thought about fighting the Big Guns in any way...that shut them up pretty fast.

Please enjoy our especially-crafted, post Fourth of July, "Revolutions start here." t-shirts and gifts! (sweat-over for more than 384 [wo]man hours to create utter perfection)

Lest we forget, thank you, too to those caring readers who sent cards, food and flowers to our trapped Scientificologists. They really enjoyed the cards and flowers.

(what, you thought we were going to give them the food? We fed them MREs -Meals Ready to Eat- and enjoyed the seventy-two pounds of chocolate you sent ourselves...now we're so big, we're having trouble getting through normal-sized doors ourselves)

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Graphic humor, The Revolution, Fight For Peace

Are you truly innocent?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:58:00 +0000

Did you miss us?

Based on this week's Innocent Until Proven Guilty t-shirts, you might think that we had to run from the law for some form of copyright infringement or something. But that would be absurd. If we rip someone off (a competitor, of course, and never a customer), we'll be sure to stock up on plenty of ammunition, food and comic books beforehand so we can hold off the feds for at least a few weeks.

If you had signed up for our newsletter, you would have known that we were proud to poke fun of people who like popular things and those who have to ask, is it popular? before they can do anything (especially those willing to jump on a political bandwagon because they don't want to get kicked out of the country). Even if you do get the newsletter, you wouldn't have received a coupon last week, though, because our coupon-generating-gizmodoohicky seems to be down (need to ask the scientificologists about that one).

Did you know that presumption of innocence, although an established law in many countries, is not actually guaranteed by any current national US laws? Although you think you are innocent until proven guilty (and may even have the t-shirt to prove it) you may not be guaranteed that assurance much longer.

If you haven't been keeping up with the recent Supreme Court rulings, things aren't looking so good for personal freedoms. They've just ruled against the commonly upheld belief that law enforcement agents must announce themselves and wait approximately 15-20 seconds before breaking into a house due to search under the authority of a warrant. This protection of homeowners has been protected by the USA's highest court for at least the last 90 years.

Let 52tease.com be the first to say, "we welcome our conservative overlords and whatever Constitution-stomping laws they introduce" and we will maintain our innocence until the end!

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, law, presumption of innocence, innocent

Mood: Not doing anything illegal, I can assure you

Playing: Legal music downloads, I can assure you

Ban Gay Marriage? Ban Republican Sex! (t-shirts & political buttons)

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Fri, 26 May 2006 19:35:00 +0000

Sniff, sniff...what's that smell? Do we smell desperation? Wait a second...look at the calendar. The mid-term elections are five months away. Republicans, while contending with historically low poll numbers despite a single party monopoly, think they have found the solution to America's (and their) woes: gay bashing. The GOP-controlled Senate Judiciary Committee has approved an amendment (unsurprisingly, along party lines) to the Constitution banning gay marriage.

HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Think about this. The best solution our legislative body is offering the United States in the face of an unending, protracted war on terror, a health care crisis the size of the (inconceivable) ever-ballooning financial deficit, and lobbying scandals that have struck to the very core of our political system, is a... bill to keep a man and man or woman and woman from marrying?

I don't know what they are smoking in the Capital, but you better start sharing with the rest of the country because we are sure stuck with a healthy dose of 'reality' of which our elected officials seem to have no grasp.
Although we at 52tease.com decry hate speech of any color, there was no way we were going to take this perversion of the legislative process sitting down. We can do our part to make the world a better place by doing everything we can to keep Republicans from marrying and procreating. You heard me right. We want to ban Republican marriage (or, failing that, at least ban GOP sex) and we figure the best way to make that happen is with a grassroots campaign.

We are very proud to unveil our 'ban GOP elephants from having sex' logo...the first of its kind. You can find this anti-Republican marriage logo on political buttons, t-shirts and other apparel, stickers and more just by clicking any of the surrounding pictures. Come on buy (pun intended) and help us get the message out. Let's stop breeding hate!

And, as they say in Monty Python...now for something completely different. Rather than end on a diatribe against Republicans (and their power-hungry, money-grubbing ways), we would like to bring to you a message of peace, hope and maybe a call to action--

As we sorted through our always overstuffed mailbox we came across one of the most touching and poignant letters from a customer who ordered the personalized shirt seen on the right. Steve is a college student who, instead of heading out to help replenish the economy of Cancun, went down to New Orleans to help out with the cleanup effort. He found himself knee-deep not in the muck of mud, but rather in the muck of a political machine that has one goal...money.

But, this isn't our story to tell...

Since you asked about New Orleans, I dusted off the old draft of the email I was composing for you way back when.
Thanks for asking. I joined a group in Selma, AL for the trip to New Orleans (NO). While in Selma, I toured the National Voting Rights Museum. The lady in charge was very impressed with my shirt and was able to supply me with the name of the minister whom I had quoted, Rev. Joseph Lawrey. She had several pictures of him with Rev. MLK on display.
The group I hooked up with in Selma consisted nearly entirely of African-American students (about sixty of them) from Eastern colleges. I was one of three white volunteers. Once in NO, we were divided into two groups. Most volunteered for the group that labored at "deconstructing" flooded homes in the 9th Ward, the poorest and, not surprisingly, the hardest hit part of town. We soon realized that the way the levees were set up virtually assured that this would be the way in which the dominoes would fall. The poor part of town had been set aside as a "green zone" where flood waters would be directed so other parts of town would be spared the worst destruction.
I joined the second group that labored at organizing the poor (black) victims of the hurricane into a force that could collectively make demands on the government to right decades of neglect and rebuild the city better than it was before the flood. The extended vision for this activated and empowered organization of African-American hurricane survivors is that, well after the city is rebuilt, they will continue to be a political force in the city for times to come.
The mayor's plan for rebuilding stated that the sections of town that needed the least reconstruction would be tackled first, finishing with, (surprise) the 9th Ward. Mayor Nagin, a black man, was formerly a (telecom) corporate president and always lets the business community of NO weigh in on all of his decisions. Not surprisingly, the rich sections of town and the French Quarter, the commercial business district, show little affects of the disaster.
At first, it may come as a surprise that the levees around the 9th Ward are being rebuilt first and very well. Then it becomes obvious that the plan for this section is now to rebuild the formerly (poor) residential areas into new commercial areas including casinos and hotels. That's why it might also seem odd that the group I was working with is spending so much effort gutting homes in the 9th.
It seems as if gutting (deconstructing) homes in the 9th Ward is simply playing into the hands of the developers. But, by doing so, the original occupants hope to be able to demonstrate their insistance on coming back. Unfortunately, these people are spread out over many states and FEMA is dragging its feet providing trailers and other affordable housing. In order to get a FEMA trailer, one must be able to prove that he or she had a home and a job before the hurricane. The more I try to explain the political mess down there, the more frustrated I get. It's so hard for the people, especially the poor, to fight Big Brother.

Steve just sent us another e-mail, with a clarification he felt was important...

One important omission from my narrative that I should mention is the wonderful attitude displayed by nearly all of the hurricane victims with whom we talked. In doing our outreach work, we went door-to-door thus encountering only a certain segment of the population. These people were those who didn't get hit quite as hard and were able to repair their homes, alnost entirely at their own expense. They were in neighborhoods that were flooded but had houses built on higher foundations. I'd say about 20% to 30% had moved back and these were the people we were able to contact. They were very appreciative of our organizing activism and also pleased that the organization could offer help with everything from light construction to legal solutions. There was no cash available, but there were many volunteers available in several diverse areas. Despite our racial difference, not one person I talked to "played the race card." They were so cheerful and confidently and nonchantaly polite.

I guess this story just goes on and on.

Thank you, Steve, for keeping us grounded and the goal in sight. Regardless of our distaste for the political machine that is currently steamrolling our country and the war-like direction the world has taken, it is always important for us to remember the reason we fight. We fight for equality - economic, social, and political. Steve, we applaud your approach and appreciate the lessons you are willing to share with everyone in the 52tease.com family.

Comments are truly appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Ban Republican Marriage , Anti-GOP, Ban GOP Sex

Mood: Wishing and praying the GOP self-destructs soon | Playing: Could it be polka?

PS For those who missed our "The Truthiness is Out There" sale, don't worry. As a special Memorial Day treat, we are more than happy to keep both these designs on sale throughout the week.