52tease.com New Family-Friendly Designs

Postmodern Tshirt

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 00:01:00 +0000

We asked our scientificologists what it would take to make the ultimate postmodern shirt. A t-shirt that would lash out against the modernism and all the celebration of the human spirit that the era entailed.

After a little head-scratching and some quick tabulation, our crack team realized that the best way to create a post-modern tee shirt would be to imbue a t-shirt with a sense of self.

Much like that which separates humans from most other animals (notice that we said "most"), an awareness of yourself is usually all that is necessary in creating a cynical, individualistic object that is able to question the nature of knowledge.

When you wear the postmodern tshirt, are you really wearing a t-shirt or has it become something more than through it's self-referential nature?

Of course, most of us at The Outpost aren't smart enough to fully understand our scientificologists response to our question, but that's not going to stop us from putting it on a t-shirt.

Couldn't this be, we wonder, a post-modern response to the surrealistic and poignant work of René Magritte? Whereas Magrittes' Ceci n'est pas works point out that "that no matter how closely, through realism-art, we come to depicting an item accurately, we never do catch the item itself, per se, as a Kantian noumenon, but capture only an image on the canvas," this t-shirt is, in fact, the object which it represents, sending the truly pensive viewer in an unceasing spiral of refracted thought.

The shirt itself becomes both an ironic work of art as well as a snide answer to the multitude of ironic shirts that are in vogue among the hipsters and popularity-challenged fashion obsessed.

(BTW, if you're not familiar with the term "Hipster", this short introduction from Wikipedia should suffice: "A hipster is an individual who avoids and often explicitly rejects whatever is seen as mainstream or corporate in nature, instead embracing alternative forms of expression. Often, these alternative forms quickly become mainstream or corporate themselves, thus creating an arms race between the genuinely trendy and the 'played out.' Indeed, even the label 'hipster' is no longer desirable, and it is rarely used for self-identification, except in an ironic or self-deprecating way.")

In respecting this ironic anti-irony, we have also intentionally placed this text, "postmodern tshirt", on some mugs and apparel items that are certainly not t-shirts. Take that Magritte!

Of course, this is just what we understand this week's sale design to mean. For all we know, the scientificologists have just pulled the wool over our eyes again and gotten away with another easy pay check.

Carpe Vacationem or Carpe Diem Otiosam t-shirts

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:53:00 +0000

With the Summer solstice firmly behind us, we in the Northern Hemisphere have finally entered the oft-coveted Summer months...a lovely time for some poolside relaxing, barbecues, family road trips, and possibly summer camp.

In honor of this, one of the most exulted seasons of the year, and the celebration of all things relaxing, we are happy to unleash several 52tease.com versions of "Carpe diem" (often translated as "seize the day") including Carpe diem otiosam (literally translated as "seize the leisure-full day" or "seize the day off"). Unfortunately, the Romans didn't have a term for the weekend or day off, so we've had to make do with some interesting wordplay that still incorporates the base phrase. (The only other commercial push we've found for this saying is Maryland's current tourism tagline, "seize the day off", but they couldn't even be bothered to translate it into Latin.)

Wouldn't you know it? Although the Romans didn't have a term for "day off", they certainly had a way to talk about holidays that is still in use today. Hence, our second 52tease.com original t-shirt design debuting this week-- Carpe vacationem or "s eize the holiday."

(BTW, Google tells you that it should be spelled vacationum, that's just because Google is stupid and the only other online presence to even touch on these modern originals is a lone vacation company with an issue spelling Latin correctly.)

Don't get us wrong. We're certainly fans of going all out and trying to make the most of every day we're alive, but many weekend warriors understand that the weekday exists only to be tolerated and the weekend is when the real fun begins. You don't have to be a Latin scholar, speaker of dead languages or even a big fan of the movie 300 to wear this humorous seize the day off tee shirt design.

We're pretty sure that wearing one of these Latin parody t-shirts (or even using one of the carpe vacationem coffee mugs if you don't want to commit to the t-shirt version) will raise your IQ (or, at least, the visual equivalent) enough to help you hold your own in the company of even the most erudite academics.

Should you not feel comfortable in such an intellectual community, we're sure you will love our more whimsical, cartoony carpe vacationem t-shirts...as these shouldn't leave the average layperson on the street as perplexed as the former design.

And, if you find yourself traveling with family this summer or on any holiday or vacation, these shirts also serve as an excellent way to get a laugh and make it easy to identify your crew among a crowd.

Go on, you know you want to become the "Carpe vacationem" family!

Although our scientificologists can usually handle anything we throw at them, they did have a little trouble figuring out the appropriate Latin forms for the phrase "seize the day off". We'd like to extend a special thanks to the overly-helpful and generous members of the Latin Forum.

Wanna Party With A Fungi t-shirts

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 16:46:00 +0000

Although we don't yet have the reputation of being the "partiest t-shirt brand across the land" we've decided that going for the crown is a laudable goal for a quickly rising t-shirt company.

I'm telling you this to help ameliorate the disappointment you must be feeling as we didn't unveil our design of the week yesterday.

You see, The Outpost is not just the only place in the world in which scientificologists are able create and share ideas in a free and open environment. It is also party central for the entire underground scientificologist movement.

What many people don't realize is that our company's most prized asset, the people who are able to produce some of the Intersphere's most original and unique quality t-shirts on a weekly basis, are actually forced to hide their identities from the general populace to avoid the enmity and scorn of those less blessed. (well, there's that and the fact that scientificologists are notoriously private people--we're getting to that.)

Like mushrooms, fruiting bodies of fungi, the scientificologists we are fortunate enough to work with are only a small visible reminder of an amazing and complex underground society. Each scientificologist, it appears, also harbors an inner party-animal just waiting to "mushroom" up given the right circumstances. (In fact, we've recruited some of our best workers at these functions...we're always eager to get at that raw blossoming talent.)

Those scientificologists who do work at 52tease.com are the most socially adjusted of the entire population, easily functioning alongside their coworkers. When the entire group of scientificologists gets together (we can say, proudly, at the 52tease.com Outpost), our crack team constantly takes the helm of any party and hogs the limelight (probably to the relief of their more private counterparts) with wild and crazy antics.

If you think you saw geeks get down in Real Genius (1:06) , you ain't seen nothing yet. I only wish I were smart enough to think of even one example of the alcohol-induced punning and assorted verbal repartee that occurs among these behemoths of the brainscape.

Although they often think they've come up with the best t-shirt ideas EVER, approximately 90% of the ideas generated at these mega-events get thrown in the trash with their discarded empties. Occasionally, though, they come up with a beauty that transcends all prior design concepts.

Our wanna party with a fungi line is not one of those designs, but it's good enough for a post-bacchanal demonstration of admiration.

To honor those wild and crazy gals and guys, and in tribute to their raucous parties (the most recent of which lasted three days instead of the expected one, hence the delay in shirts this week) we are proud to present a new design for party animals, mycologists and amateur mushroom hunters alike.

We figure that anyone who walks around wearing these shirts will get one of two reactions. Either you'll meet someone special who wants to party with a Fungi (yes, we're talking about hooking up...we're trying to insinuate that our products will increase your opportunities to have sex with a stranger) or a bunch of hippy kids will come up to you to ask if you've got any "shrooms." (btw, we didn't realize the drug angle until we got this far in production. We are not trying to imply that you will have an easier time selling drugs if you wear our Fungi shirts.)

Dewey Does It! t-shirts, mugs & gifts

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 07 May 2007 17:29:00 +0000

This week's design comes straight to us from the mind of a wild and crazy media center specialist (that's a librarian to those of you who grew up before the media explosion we endearingly call the Intersphere) with a love of all things Dewey.

To be honest, we don't totally get it, but this is how it went down:

52: Excuse me (mister librarian guy) but do you know the call number for books about enjoying coffee?

Librarian guy: Sure, let me look that up for you. Is there any particular reason?

52: Yeah, I make t-shirts and I'm going to make a mug for librarians that has the call number on it instead of coffee. It will be a sort of inside joke for people who know the Dewey Decimal System.

Librarian guy: You know, it would be really cool if you guys put out a librarian shirt.

52: (hey librarian-person, you know there are gals here as well --don't forget our diatribe about the gender-specificity of the English language.) Yeah, that would be cool. You got any good ideas?

LG: Oh sure, I've got lot's of good ideas. Like once, I had this idea that they should put all the books in a library on conveyor belts and bring them to people when they try to search for information a computer just like the "Tubes" that Senator Stevens was talking about...

52: Uh yeah, not to interrupt or anything, but we don't design libraries. We do t-shirts. Do you have any good t-shirt ideas for librarians?

LG: Yup. I had this idea the other day about actually like, you know, sewing a book into the front of a shirt. It would be really cool to take your favorite book and sew it onto the front of your shirt so people could read it. You could, like, point out important passages and stuff and people could even show their personality by dog-earing the pages that they really like. What do you think?

52: Well...other than the fact that trying to sew a book onto the front of a shirt would probably rip the thing, I can't really see people willing to bear the weight of their favorite book~unless it's a picture book or comic book or something. Oh yeah; one more problem--we only do print designs, nothing with glitter or sewn-in stuff or anything like that...don't worry about it man, I'm sure someone else can make that shirt for you. (although who would buy it? That's another issue altogether.) It's been real interesting talking to you, I've got to, uh...I've got to go. Thanks for the ideas.

LG: No, wait! Dewey Does It!

52: Huh?

LG: Dewey Does It! That's the shirt idea. You should make a shirt that says Dewey Does It! You know, it sounds kind of like "easy does it," but it's Melvil Dewey instead. There's this huge fight between librarians about the best classification system and whether or not they should even be using Dewey anymore.

There are a bunch other than the Dewey Decimal System like Bliss bibliographic classification, Library of Congress Classification, and Dickinson classification. There are even some for different languages like Nippon Decimal Classification, Chinese Library Classification, and Korean Decimal Classification. Also, a lot of people are talking about using things like the "tags" you find online with books and stuff now that everything is getting computerized.

Anyway, I just thought it would be cool to have a t-shirt for catalogers or librarians who like Dewey that says "Dewey Does It!"

52: Well, I still don't get what you're talking about exactly, but it does sound like "easy does it" and we have been looking for a way to appeal to a broader bibliophilic base...consider it done.By the way, back to my original question...what's the call number for coffee?

LG: Oh yeah...hold on a second. Here you go.

52: Thanks. Keep an eye out for that shirt.

LG: I will.

Geek humor, Librarian shirts, Dewey Does It, Melvil Dewey

Mood: Feelin' fine | Playing: Limbik Frequencies (on iTunes)

Beware the Octogenarians With Loaves of Bread

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 02:48:00 +0000

We hail you, octogenarian hipsters! The Post Sliced Bread (P.S.B.) Era's reign of terror is at an end. You have a found a haven here, an island of reason that recognizes that you, oh Hoover-baby, are the true measure of awesome coolness.

We haven't been fooled by the sliced-bread lobby. They may have beltway FAT CATS in their pockets, but 52tease.com is not so easily bought (but, SBLobby, if you're adding a fine selection of beers and some really nice pickles along with the sandwiches...you're definitely getting warmer).

This is no empty marketing ploy. WE'RE RAISING AN ARMY! An Army of old-school, low-riding Hipsters. This is going to be a force of Septuagenarians, Sexagenarians, Octogenarians, (no Nonagenarians - they get too rowdy at that age), and any hundred(+) year olds we can get our hands on to rally around the flag of "cool."

Kids these days don't know how good they have it with their sliced bread. When the soldiers of our aged army of cool were young fellows (or fellow-esses) they had to slice their bread themselves...and they didn't even have cutting utensils as good as a butter knife! They had to tie a string between two cows and whip 'em to keep 'em going back and forth (who could forget the cow flatulent aftertaste?)...that was the only way to get your bread torn asunder before your modern machinations and bread conveniences.

Our Army of The Golden Agers will march upon the gates of cool and emerge triumphant as the masters of hip. And they're going to look darn fine doing it, too.

How can you, the average pre-sliced-bread eater recognize our army of retired, yet highly active, elderly? First, most of the men will still be wearing the Chuck Taylor Converse All-Stars they've had on their feet since before "skateboard chic." Of course, they'll all also be adorned in some of our newly unveiled The coolest thing before sliced bread apparel.

Rest assured, America, you've been lulled into a false sense of cool and ease thanks to the rapid infiltration of sliced bread. Our army is coming to remind you of the true meaning of cool...as long as you don't mind waiting while they find their reading glasses and search through the front closet under the umbrellas to find their dictionaries.

Sliced Bread, Family fun, Golden ager, Retirement humor

Mood: militant | Playing: Chocolate Genius

Do This NOT That T-shirt Designs

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 22:42:00 +0000

Of course we should have gotten this t-shirt design out the door about two months ago in honor of the tenth annual Read Across America day, but that would have involved the sort of prescience and foresight we have consistently demonstrated a lack of. Instead we like to think that we are on the ball by being exactly one year ahead of next year's celebration.

While we know that one or two other retailers may have a shirt strikingly similar to the above design (and we pride ourselves on the fact that all of our designs are completely original) we had to put it out there just so we could get to the heart of the matter.

Sure it's funny to wear a supercilious tee shirt that says "read books not t-shirts," but we're amazed that no one has yet tread the ground of the happily illiterate.

Our response, of course, is the scrawled out version you see on the right with the text "read tshirts not books" that includes a picture of some good old-fashioned school books crossed out.

Why waste your time with books when almost every great quote and gem of modern thinking can be found in the short-format and easily digestible t-shirt? It's just tons more fun to say "everything I needed to learn, I learned from (hopefully 52tease.com) t-shirts."

While we were putting those designs together we felt a sort of momentum building. We like the simple concept of a "do this NOT that" design and kept on working it through until we came up with the below design.

We were going to print a "make witticisms not war" t-shirt, but that just doesn't have the same beauty of brevity of the "make love not war" design we intended to mock. We like the version our designers composed, though as make slogans not war! not only makes fun of the fact that most anti-war slogans are nothing more than a cheap marketing ploy attempting to capitalize on anti-war sentiment (gulp...guilty as charged) but also ridicules governments who use slogans and empty rhetoric to fuel warmongering sentiment among their populace.

As always, we're just doing what we can to help you prove you're a true hipster with our snarky t-shirt designs.

Political t-shirts, Family fun, Anti-war, Pro-reading, Anti-reading

Mood: Chillin' (literally, it's cold!) | Playing: Jack FM

Quick! Look Over There!

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 15:33:00 +0000

For reasons that should be obvious by looking at the picture on the left, we're not really at liberty to talk to much about this week's design. In fact, we've been practicing the art of becoming invisible around the office lately (nice segue, isn't it?). We started off with your typical office camouflage (boy was that fun!). You know, staple some lined paper to your forehead and stuff like that.

Nothing quite like jumping out of a closet with a piece of lined paper stapled to your forehead to help remind your workmates to relax and enjoy one another's company.

After that initial shock, everyone got into the invisibility game and we had to up the ante a little. We've learned to hide without hiding through the art of attention-transference. The crafty individuals upon who our most recent design is based have taught us the art of being invisible in plain view.

We're using those techniques right now, on you...it's like a Vulcan mind trick. Just don't let us near your collar bone.

We've noticed a trend lately, on the blog, of focusing the text entirely too much on our newest design. Sure, our copy is still damn interesting and our insights into Scientificology and the Intersphere are world renowned, but we need to "Kick it up a notch!"

That's why we're going to use those spare days during the week to introduce you to parts of the Intersphere heretowith probably undiscovered by your searching mind. We don't propose to bring you the hottest links, most breaking news or the next big thing. We just want to share with you the things that make us laugh, think, or that we just didn't know about the Intersphere each dawning week.

If you want to keep up with our weekly links, it might not be a bad idea to subscribe to our RSS feed as most of these timely lovelies aren't going to make it into the newsletter. (Huh? RSS feed?)

Those of you who have been with us since the beginning may remember our link of the week. Well, we're bringing it back in style, baby...and this time it's getting the Vegas treatment:

Click any of the below pictures to learn more/see more:

Nothing to click for the following picture. It is a contribution from one of 52tease.com's younger customers who is excited to see his cartoon up on the internet. Here you go Anton. We don't care what your haters say, it's hilarious!

Check in with us all week as we link you to more great content on the world wide Intersphere.
Comments (and link suggestions) are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Random

Geek of all trades-1337 of none

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 01:18:00 +0000

In case you're wondering, we have caught wind of the negative press about 52tease.com spreading around the you-fueled Intersphere. Oh yeah, we've heard the rumblings that 52tease hasn't been living up to our geek roots over the past few months. Do we have to remind you about our html-oriented t-shirt humor designs?

Alright, you've got us. Although we did think those designs were pretty freaking geeky, we haven't been giving you the nerd love you need. To be fair, it's not really our fault that we've let you let you down. You see, we aren't the best geeks we could be. We're really only about 3/4 geek.

You may have noticed that 52tease.com covers a wide range of topics and interests. Some would hold that against us...they just want a niche market t-shirt shop where they know they can go to get a great specialized (ie: dog) t-shirt anytime they want it. We aren't that type of business. We don't need to be the best Scottish pride t-shirt shop on the Intersphere, we're just happy to have such a strong showing catering to a range of interests (seriously, we just sold our first fine art print and our first two Bedknobs and Broomsticks t-shirts in the same week.)

We are happy to be "good" at everything we do. We don't need to be the absolute best store in the world to get your purple widgets, we'll leave that to someone else.

These shirts are a tribute to the geek who is happy to be "alright" at Halo, Grand Theft Auto, or the new Legend of Zelda. The Geek who doesn't have to prove him/herself to the geek-elite (geek1337). The geek who is a "jack of all trades and king of none" or, as we like to say about our favorite geeks, "geek of all trades and 1337 of none."

Don't think that just because we've don't pride ourselves on being the absolute pinnacle of t-shirt production (hey, even though we're not willing to toot our own horn, we know that we have more completely original t-shirts and designs than most, but not all of course, of our competitors.) we've rested on our laurels when it comes to bringing you all you expect from us and more.

We’ve got a new women’s style and more colors! Here are the new items:
• Dark T-Shirts: Red, Royal, Brown, Charcoal
• Light T-Shirts (used to be just ash grey): Natural, Light-Blue
• Women's Dark T-Shirts: Red, Caribbean Blue, Violet
• Women's Light T-Shirt (used to be just pink): Light Yellow, Light Blue, Light Pink
• Women's V-Neck T-Shirt: White
• Women's Dark V-Neck T-Shirt: Black, Heather Grey

Although you may not find your favorite design on these products right now, you can either send us an e-mail (through our personalization portal) with your request or wait a few weeks as we revamp our stock.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Geek humor, 1337, Geek of all trades , 1337 of none

Mood: Busy, busy, busy | Playing: Xavier Rudd

Valentine & Saint Patrick's Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 22 Jan 2007 00:48:00 +0000

Well, as any good frugal company would do, we waited until after the New Year to purchase our office calendars--if you wait two weeks into January, you get a full 50% off at least, much better than that paltry initial 25% markdown. We know that you're wondering how a major player in the t-shirt biz like 52tease.com could possibly advocate such overly cheap and petty penny pinching...we do this with you, our loyal customer, in mind.

We don't waste your hard-earned money on big incentive packages for VIPs or expensive advertisements during the Super Bowl because we value every dollar you give us just as much as you.

We know this seems like a rant completely unrelated to the supposed topic of this post, Valentine's and Saint Patrick's days but our frugality is cause for celebration as we proudly present two (tenuously) related designs on sale this week.

Had we looked at a 2007 calendar sometime before...uh...yesterday, we probably would have remembered to debut our special Valentine's message: "living life, celebrating love," earlier in January instead of now, alongside our Saint Patrick's green-themed less thinking, more drinking! t-shirts.

Fortunately for you, loyal 52fan, this week is the perfect time to get both these designs on sale before these holidays.

Although these short phrases seem fairly simplistic in their message (surely our alcohol-lover's design is truly elementary) celebrating love is something deeper than just a two-word statement, it is a simple and satisfying philosophy.

Celebrating love is a way of approaching the world and choosing what you want to take from your experiences while fully engaging in life. When you are ready to celebrate love you not only take love from your surroundings, you become a giver as well, sharing the joy and love you've created and explored with anyone around you who is open to the experience.

For those of you who are already sick of all this mushy love stuff, don't worry. We know a nice, quiet little drinking hole where you can hide from love, hate and just about any other emotion that seems to be more trouble than it's worth. You are definitely the type of person who can appreciate a shirt that reminds us to shut off our brains as we drink.

As we were putting this post together, we realized that Valentine's Day and Saint Patrick's day, interestingly enough, seem to go together. They both bring out the best and worst emotions in people (true love, often followed by true rejection and true despondence). Why can't we actually bring the two together? There'd be a lot more loving going on and whole slew of people who currently hate Valentine's day probably wouldn't care all that much if they had an ice cool pint in their hands...

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

College humor, Drinking, Less Thinking More Drinking, Love, Family fun, Celebrate Love

Mood: Always nice | Playing: Sigur Ros

Arbeit Macht Frei

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 18 Dec 2006 15:25:00 +0000

Well, it looks like our resident scientificologists weren't too happy with our attempt to side-step them during last week's "Create an American Ten Commandments" game. We're pretty sure that more people than just Uncle Frog and HomeFireBlue submitted great ideas or sarcastic comments about this task, but we can't find any more comments on the blog... Those jealous fools must have tricked their way into our server (heck, they run anything that gets plugged in to a socket in this office) and erased all your great ideas.

Even if you didn't have a chance to contribute last week (or those nefarious fools erased your entry), get back there and let us know what you would include in the Ten American Commandments.

We had no intention of making an anti-work t-shirt design this week either. You should have seen the elaborate drinking design we had planned in preparation for the next two weeks of fun and debauchery also known as the celebration of the birth of the "lord and savior" of approximately 33% of the world's population. It was truly a beautiful piece of work.

We spent the better part of last week refining this design (to remain nameless until we debut it; don't want the competition getting a leg up), and getting the presses set up. Went home last night early, deserving of a break...and what do we discover when we get into work this morning? Those uppity (that's right, I said 'uppity) scientificologists switched the plates on us and put out this design instead.

We're not going to declare war on the scientificologists...we tried that once a year and a half ago and we're still finding caramel corn hidden in the weirdest places. No, underlings, we're not going to declare war. As Colbert says, though, "You're on notice!" We better not find you messing around with the printing process again!

What is workplace fascism and why are we advocating the protestation of such tactics? Well, we all know that the workplace doesn't have to suck. Basically, an office can only be as good an environment as the 'highest ups' will allow. If you've got a boss that is basically easy-going, but keeps you on task when necessary; no problems. When you've got that boss, though, who comes down on you for no reason whatsoever and makes rules just for the sake of being an all-out bastard (or bitch...we can use those words without fear of reprisal; they're on prime-time TV), that's when you just want to tell him/her to "take this job and shove it." While we don't advocate telling people what they should put into the regularly 'exit-only' parts of their body, we do recommend starting an anti-office-fascism protest.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Geek humor, work humor, anti-work

Mood: mildly surprised | Playing: darn Christmas music

HTML Joke T-shirts Make Geeks Happy

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 02:03:00 +0000

Although no one has complained about a lack of multiple designs debuted over the past few months, we remember the good old days when each design could comprise three or four different takes on a theme.

We're not promising to go back to that model, mind you, as we feel the quality of our designs has also increased dramatically in that time period, but...that doesn't mean that we're restricted to one design or one version (hey didn't we just put out four different versions of the team gay design?).

This week (in honor of our hundredth blog post, I suppose) we're happy to share with you a whole slew of different designs riffing on one theme, HTML humor. That's right. Although we are plenty familiar with and enjoy the HTML begin body end body shirts, we feel that the secret geekcode known as HTML offers a lot more options for expansion.

Above, you can see our first HTML joke t-shirt idea, something we have yet to see for sale: an HTML design that begins on your front chest and ends on your buttocks. (as always, if you've seen it, leave a comment -and link if you can) The above shirts represent two different options for the truly nerdy. You can get the "Begin The Man/End The Man" t-shirts or our "Begin Funny/End Funny" t-shirts (that's right, it's not "Begin The Man/End Funny" -- that would be ridiculous, right?)

After putting together the above two designs, though, our creative team (you know who) realized that there are a couple simple yet powerful messages we needed to convey using this excellent HTML shorthand.

One of the first is our admonishment to those people who are creating MMORPG widows (massively multi-player online role playing game) . If you tend to hang out with a bunch of geeks, our "End MMORPG/Begin Living" t-shirt is sure to get quite a few laughs.

If you don't spend your time with nerds, then these probably aren't going to be the design for you (although we bet you know someone, other than the 52tease.com staff, that spends way too much time at a computer).

If you're having trouble reading the next design, it says "Begin Love/End Hate" in that ever-lovable (not) Instant Message 1337-speak (remember l337-speak from a few months ago?).

Of course, we wouldn't be 52tease.com if we couldn't figure out some sort of crazy liberal progressive slant for even the nerdiest of designs. You may have seen a couple of those HTML End War t-shirts floating around. The problem we have with those is they don't offer a prescription or suggestion about how to end war. What are we supposed to do, write a web page that's going to save the planet?

We realize that first you must begin peace in yourself, add a little wisdom to the mix, give people space to absorb your thoughts and then you can end senseless violence and war.

Our final design doesn't require any explanation at this point (you get it, right? The / means 'end'...so this t-shirt says begin living and __________________?).

When we hold onto regret we are looking at the past and not the future. Those with regrets end up trying to protect themselves from new (and scary) experience --for fear of repeating past mistakes.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Political t-shirts, Geek humor, HTML t-shirts, HTML humor, HTML joke shirts

Mood: Preachy? Nah! | Playing: Squeeze

Everybody's Got One

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 00:00:00 +0000

We always see these movies and comic books where super heroes hide their identity as that 'neighbor next door'.

The weird thing about it is, when you read the real life newspapers and magazines it's not superheros who are the nice people down the block, it's the truly evil and depraved.

We're not suggesting that you, our dear reader, fall into either of the above categories with our newest superhero-related t-shirt design. In all probability, you have nothing to hide more dangerous or nefarious than the socially acceptable secrets we all carry.

Although you probably aren't a mild-mannered desk jockey by day and Captain Ultra Extreme by night, that doesn't mean you have to let go of the dream.

Why can't you pretend to be the safe alter ego of a much more dangerous person than yourself?

This large mug, for example, makes an excellent gift for an office worker like Hiro Nakamura, one who seems normal, geeky even, in the office but can actually do amazing things no one else can even imagine (like bend time with your mind or phase through objects).

Perhaps you don't want to make the evildoers' job that much easier by 'outing' your alter ego. If that's the case, you may be looking for our plain ol' Hero designs.

Don't want to be a hero, but looking for a real alter ego? You might enjoy this game where you get to "live your life over again". We played it for a little while and discovered our hand as a baby. We would have patted ourselves on the back, but couldn't figure out how to do that yet.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Geek humor, Hero, Alter Ego, Comic Book s

Mood: Feelin' alright | Playing: The Recruit

We're not Just Awesome, We're Awesomer Than You!

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 21:33:00 +0000

We told you, didn't we? If you read the title on your homepage via our RSS feed (yes, we have that...it's an excellent way to make sure you stay up to date with the newest designs at 52tease.com without cluttering up your inbox -nice plug right?), you were probably wondering what you were going to see. What, exactly, could make 52tease.com awesomer than me? Nothing I can think of...

Well, of course our answer is a t-shirt (gotta love 'em). What better way to establish and legitimate your awesome-factor than by wearing your feelings on your ---not sleeve---- chest? We can't think of one (oh wait, there is one, what about the Awesomer Than You Mug? That's pretty snarky for the workplace.)

To be honest, we've got a lot to be smug about around the office. Our October/November sales have been the best in our two year history (thought you were going to be the only one on the block with a 52tease.com original Truthiness is Out There t-shirt? Think again), we've recently launched a new storefront for gift items (to be announced soon, we're still putting on some finishing touches), and this week we celebrate the grand re-opening of our AllAwesomeShirts.com t-shirt and gift portal.

We've made some major improvements over the previous portal that are going to make it that much easier to find a t-shirt, apparel, or other gift product with the term 'awesome' on it. We didn't just throw up any old junk (not that we did that with the last version of AAshirts, mind you); instead we hand-picked over 50 different designs created by other artists/creators at Cafepress.com.

Some of these designs include, Truckin' Awesome, You're Awesome (reversed for the mirror), Team Awesome, and This is What Awesome Looks Like. Those are just a few that have made us laugh around here, but we're certain (as long as you like the word awesome) that you're going to find another design that really resonates with you.

One gift we are really excited to vend is the "(any name here) is awesome" line of products (hundreds of women's & men's names available). Just imagine how your soldier would feel when s/he returns from Iraq and everyone in the family is wearing a (blank) is Awesome t-shirt with his/her name on it. It's a cool idea for a gift because you're really buying something for yourself to give as a gift. How often does that happen?

If you're really lucky, we'll be stocking the shelves when you come to visit and you'll have an interminably long wait to get the store. I know, you're wondering how that could be a good thing. Well, for those lucky few who catch us with our 'pants around our ankles' as it were, we've got a fun little version of Simon (memory) for you to play. What's your high score? (our personal best is level 7)

What are you waiting for? Visit our new storefront and come back here to let us know what you think.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

College humor, Geek humor, Graphic designs, Awesome, Awesomer Than You t-shirts

Mood: Celebratory | Playing: The Stones

Perfection, Pickups and Political Perverts

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 09 Oct 2006 03:22:00 +0000

Utter perfection.

What is more perfect than your favorite shirt? I'm pretty sure we've said this before, but you never really know what science is capable of unless you allow it to unfurl to its greatest potential.

Our scientificologists have discovered the most perfect piece of apparel currently in existence on earth: it's everyone's favorite shirt!

Truly, it's easy to tell because the text across the front says, "my favorite shirt". We certainly don't pay those gals (and guys) enough for the amazing work they churn out. Three cheers for the scientificologists!!! (maybe the flattery will be enough)

How snarky!

Okay, so the simple witty t-shirt isn't enough to excite you. I can understand that (although, you have to admit...there is no better shirt than everyone's favorite shirt). You need something that's going to do a better job of getting you noticed at the bar.

You want a shirt that is going to say, "you might not take me home tonight, and you may not take me home next time...but you are going to take me home because I am just too cute to pass up".

You know how we're going to convey that very complex, primal message? With a t-shirt (or tank top, or spaghetti top) that says: I'm wearing this shirt so you'll remember me.

Scandal in politics? You don't say...

Well, what can we say about the whole Mark Foley fiasco that hasn't already been said? We here at 52tease.com always knew the GOP was full of perverts and pedophiles.

Think about it, why else would they spend so much time trying to get into my bedroom? Perverts!

Anyway, we've made a couple of political poster-style t-shirts to commemorate this 'outing' of the Republican party.

Enjoy our GOP=Gang of Pedophiles and GOP=Greedy Old Pervert t-shirts. (ouch! That's got to hurt.)

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

College humor, Political t-shirts, Family fun

Mood: Wandering | Playing: Velvet Underground (yeah, who would have guessed?)

The Only True Knowing is Knowing You Know Nothing

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 24 Sep 2006 19:44:00 +0000

Isn't it so odd to think about the difference between the greatest philosophers and thinkers of yesterday and the talking heads who fill our heads with so much garbage today?

First, you need to know and believe that our information comes from only the most reliable sources...When our scientificologists need to research something that they can't figure out between them, they go to Bill & Ted, the originators of universal peace and just-plain-awesome rock and roll.

Now that we have the issue of our own validity out of the way, we can go on to the meat of the matter. While the president of the United States is telling his employers (the American people) not to think and pundits on both sides of the partisan divide refuse to listen to anyone else (not to mention the intentional polarization of the viewing public by network news and television) the great thinkers of yesterday were renowned for admitting that they didn't have all the answers (or even know the right questions half the time).

Bill & Ted, in their "most excellent" history report (that helped them pass high school, mind you), remind us of that guy, So-Crates, great words. (want more great quotes from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure? Check out this totally awesome sight.

We just wish that the writers of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure were as intelligent as the gals (and guys) we have working for us at 52tease.com. Our trained staff has distilled Socrates' quote on knowledge to its best, most pristine condition: The only true knowing is knowing you know nothing (and put it on t-shirts, mugs, stickers, and other gifts to boot).

None can deny that we will always be denied access to all knowledge. Whether you are a deist (and believe that only God can know everything) or an atheist (and know that the universe is a subjective construct wherein there is no such thing as "complete knowledge") you can agree on this.

Now, having established that we can never know everything, let's abandon our scholarly pursuits (what's the point, really?) and just have some fun.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Geek humor, Yoda, Socrates, Stupid

Mood: Bliss in ignorance | Playing: Super Mario Brothers on the DS

If God is Asleep at the Wheel

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sun, 10 Sep 2006 00:47:00 +0000

Although things are starting to look a lot rosier in the past few weeks, it certainly seems like those of us who believe in God are starting to ask some questions, doesn't it? This omnipotent being has let things go from pretty good, to bad, to worse. (don't worry...we're going to continue with this thread. Just make sure you check in with us next week to see our latest --and some may say, 'greatest', rif on the ever common "God hates me" refrain)

Seriously. We're sitting on the edge of an uneasy truce in the Missile (uhhmmm...excuse us) Middle East. Things have taken an unbelievably ugly turn in American foreign affairs and domestic politics. (what? you want to know where our newest political shirt is in light of the big run-up to the November elections? To be honest, politics only taste of rancour these days. There is very little to savor.) We've weathered some of the strongest and strangest weather our modern culture has had to deal with. And it currently looks like Bill Gates, commonly referred to as 'the devil' in many circles, unlike many of us is setting himself up to make it through the shiniest, best, most special pearly gates --oh man, that's a horrible, unintentional, and completely unnecessary pun-- while the rest of us sit and rot in some form of purgatory or hell.

That is...only if you let these media-controlling god lovers convince you that you have to play the game of life (not the physical board game, mind you--Parker Brothers has all the trademarks, copyrights and patents on that--the real, actual, not on the Internet 'game of life') by their rules. That's exactly what they want, see?

What we have to do is take control of our own lives. We can't trust a god who may be busy with other things, (oh god, we soooo want to spoil next weeks' design, but the boys upstairs won't let us reveal our latest loveliness until the time is right...ohhhhh. It's like having to go to the bathroom and being over thirty miles from the next rest stop) asleep at the wheel, or just having fun watching us make fools of ourselves to save us from ourselves.

If you don't understand the concept of karma, we doubt that we can sum it up for you in just a few short words. Basically (oh great, now here we go and try), whatever positive or negative energy you send out into the world will come back and visit (sometimes with friends). The more positive karma you send into the world, the greater the chance you will receive positive karma in your daily doings.

Go on, try to argue karma with us. We dare you. Seriously, it's an idiot's bet. Just by adding more 'good' into the world, you are tipping the scales of universal 'good' in your favor.

Speaking of which and witch (more punnyness!), if you haven't heard of the Rule of Three yet, check out that Wikipedia article and pull out another interesting fact at a party. If you have trouble remembering it, just point at someone and notice that while one finger points at them, three point back at you, sucka!

I suppose we should mention something about our new t-shirts, bumper stickers and mugs saying 'Karma is my co-pilot' (instead of that lovely old standard, 'God is my copilot'). It's quite laugh and something fun for your Buddhist, Wiccan and New Agey friends.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Family fun, Karma, Co-pilot

Mood: As good as it gets | Playing: Ben Harper-Brown-Eyed Blues

Treguna mekoides tracorum satis dee

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 12:34:00 +0000

Although these alien-seeming words may not be familiar to you, we are positive there is an entire of generation of people who continue to root for the underdog and know these words upon hearing them repeated several times.

Come on kids, say the Incantation for Substitutiary Locomotion with me: Treguna mekoides tracorum satis dee and let's see if we can make nightdresses fly through the air, shoes tap dance on their own and an entire army of 'ghost-like' armor send those wacky Nazis away from the shores of jolly old England.

That's right. These words are the final, most important, spell from Mary Poppin's unloved bastard sister, Bedknobs and Broomsticks!

Celebrate your love of the unheralded. Share your wiccan nature in a fun-loving, Disney-friendly way. (oh yeah, the Disney company had a big witch fetish---think about Mary Poppins, Miss Eglantine Price, and the wizard scene from Fantasia). You will find that these treguna mekoides tracorum satis dee t-shirts, mugs, stickers and gifts are a great way to self-identify as a witch without fully giving yourself away.

If you have yet to see the Disney follow up to Mary Poppins, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, then you are doing yourself a disservice. It includes all the cutting-edge technology of the time, including a semi-animated underwater ballroom scene and the trippiest flying-bed graphics this side of the seventies.

Want to learn more? Check out this Wikipedia article (compiled by other underdog lovers like ourselves) on Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Spell, Wicca, Disney, Family fun

What do you have to show for it?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sat, 24 Jun 2006 19:34:00 +0000

When you travel, what do you collect? When you see something new, how do you ensure you remember it? Some people pick up something from the area where they saw that 'inspiration'. Others write it down in their journals. With unlimited customization options, products and a crack team of artists and scientificologists (only three have ever 'crossed the line' to join the other crew) we tend to make a t-shirt to commemorate the special event.

Needless to say, we've had so many wonderful and new events in our lives that we're running out of room in our immense dresser drawers, closets and even cupboards.

We needed a solution to our overproduction problems and we needed it fast. At first, our scientificologists thought about creating some sort of space-time-continuum-ribbon-portal in our closets to rip a hole in reality so we could deposit our extra t-shirts. Although we really liked the idea, and finally figured out a reliable and cheap power source for the machinery, we just couldn't get comfortable with ripping a hole in reality for the sake of winter storage.

When we negated that idea, our scientificologists decided to create a laser beam capable of shrinking everything to minute sizes. We always knew that these guys and gals were really kids at heart, but we didn't realize just how immature they were until we saw them in a lab together with a shrinking ray. We haven't found a full quarter of our staff yet and shrinking the only exit turned out to be a really, really stupid idea. We're able to get food to them but we can't do much more as they are, basically, the entire brain-trust behind this operation.

While 52tease.com management has to keep the trapped scientificologists alive, listen to and try to follow their overly complex directions, our artists have been hard at work coming up with their own answer to the question, 'how do you memorialize the events in your life on a t-shirt without taking up all the extra space in your house?'.

Their response was certainly a lot less technically complex than the now trapped scientificologists, but we have to say that we're highly impressed with their ingenuity. You can see the design to the left, "been there done that got this". Not only is this design much cooler than the "been there, done that, this is the t-shirt" and "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" designs, it can be applied to mugs, teddy bears, and the ultimate gift for the inveterate traveler, the been there done that got this framed print.

You know what? I think we're going to leave the scientificologists in that room for another week or two. When you think about it, they really just got what they deserved, right?

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, got this, Family fun

Mood: hunched | Playing: Classic Stevie Wonder

Why Take Responsibility For Your Actions?

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Mon, 15 May 2006 01:38:00 +0000

How you could you possibly blame a person for something they've done? Don't you realize that we are all just composites of the culture and society that pre-existed us?

Sure, the conflict between nature and nurture has been brewing and boiling for quite a long time. But does it really matter? Who cares if you were born the way you are, imperfections and a reduced moral capacity, or born into a family that raised you to become the evil bastard (or virtual saint) you are.

They all birthed you, didn't they?

Aren't your parents to blame just for bringing you into the world (and, if you are unfortunate -or fortunate- enough to have never met your parents...well, we can blame them too for giving you up or passing away or just not being there) and shouldn't they shoulder the responsibilities and fallout of your actions?

Think about the value in these blame my parents products. These cool graphic designs have the capacity to be bigger than the Bart Simpson "I didn't do it" phase of the early nineties!

Whenever you do something wrong from now on, assign blame where it is due...to your parents.

Comments are always appreciated ~52tease.com

College humor, Parents t-shirts, Family fun, Blame

Mood: Ready to conquer! | Playing: Winter 72 by Hood

We have Love for Everyone

noreply@blogger.com (Alpha Zen) — Sat, 22 Apr 2006 21:19:00 +0000

Can't talk long as we are about to head out on a much needed break (don't worry, you'll still get your precious, lovely, and meticulous design next week). But we couldn't wait to tell you about our newest idea in the whole "I (heart) BLANK" fashion trend.

Why waste your time writing "I heart Moses" when you could just put the heart write in there. That's right. Our scientificologists have been working night and day to figure out how we could fit more love into this little world and this is what they came up with (worth every penny, if you ask me).

Our first four designs tend to focus on some of the basic major players when it comes to love. We, of course, have the lovely "I love God" (or "god loves me" if you choose to see it that way) design on bunches of t-shirts, apparel, mugs and other gifts. We have also created some lovely "I Heart Jesus" and "I Heart Moses" designs for you to share your love of the prophets with the world.

Not to be outdone, though, our friend Keith insisted we put his name up in lights as well. To be totally honest, we aren't the biggest fans of Keith's, but we thought that it wouldn't be a bad idea to stroke his ego while also showing our viewing audience (that's you) that we can personalize any design you would like.

So, if you have someone in your heart, drop us a line (but not this week...we weren't kidding-the entire art staff is off on vacation in some European country until May 1st) and we can customize an personalize any "I Love" design you would like.

Love